Hello Halo Hi!

The Update…

So many things have happened in my life for the past many months. Some good, some bad. But most are just too freaking  awesome. 

Let’s get busy again, shall we?

#1: The Baby

Introducing Baby Adam, the precious gift in our lives. Also April baby. Borned 3.4kg, a staggering 500g more than his sister *smiles*

He is a very cheerful baby. His booming rumbling laughter, his frequent burst of loud hearty belly laughs, fill our humble home with such happiness and joy. I could just lightly squeeze his thigh and come his belly laugh! It’s so infectious that I often find myself look forward to the evenings after work to play with my little chill pill. And oh, he is such a ticklish little baby! Everywhere I touch…his big head, his soft belly, his pudgy arms… he would always welcome it with his toothless big grin! Even as I snuzzle his balloony cheeks, his never-there neck…. he never fails to respond with twinkling eyes, telling me that he loves our bonding time as much as I do too. Sometimes I would wrinkle up my nose to touch his small little button nose and he would erupt in resonating deep laughters. Oh, how mummy loves you! So very much! I wish his innocence will never fade away. 

It is not to be said that his arrival, fills our pristine home once again with mini-size diapers, poop-soiled newborn onesies, geographically-appearing saliva-stained blankies, wet tissues, steriliser, pacifiers, baby rocker, moisturiser baby bum and the likes. Out comes the Medela Freestyle ‘sucking’ machine, and here come the ants too, yearning at the diabetically-sweet-hard-labour-human-pumped breast milk.

Oh how time flies! He is now 4 months plus... Already tossing and turning around the bed and stuffing his fingers into his mouth and all...Already pandai to scream to get attention!

Our family routine changes once again. Although everything may seem like a second nature -the breastfeeding, the frequent feeding, the changing of diapers, the bathing of the small human in the seemingly big tub- having a second baby affects me more, physically and emotionally. The sheer exhaustion could easily crumble even a strong-willed perfection-seeker, such as I. On top of that, I have to wrestle the occasional jealous, occasional irrational, occasional unreasonable and occasional emotionally unstable two year old. 

I haven’t even begun to talk about the ‘memory DHA' losses that I suffered so bad that if I were to be a computer, I would have to be rebooted many times a day, those deep inklings of stretch marks that pucker my belly and how my tummy (despite had had the joy of housing two human forms before) now looks like a glorious elastic belly band. A old worn and awfully stretched one, that’s it. 

But I never once regret it. I may complain about my busy-ness, but I never really mind it. The pure presence of my children is the key to my survival. The whole essence of my being nowadays. Nevertheless, I will keep trying to maintain a sense of stability and to restore some sanity into our lovely home.

#2: The Exam

It is with great pleasure and pride for me to announce that I have passed my part one ophthalmology examinations. I never thought that I could actually do it, but I did. Less than 50% of passing rate in the country and it is a blessing indeed, for me at least. Getting through the year being heavily pregnant and then going through the intensive study period while attempting to oblige to my confinement, proved to be quite task. It is challenging as well as thrilling, in a sense, if you could get what I mean. 

I have never had a local-styled examination before. Russian-styled: MCQs, viva, short essay and more viva. Honest be told, I was very intimidated about the whole thing. Not just because of all the studying that had to be done beforehand. It is the exam itself that worries me. OSCE for example. I have never had an OSCE before. I do not comprehend - 5 minutes at each station? What station what! My heart was almost palpitating out of my body that day, outside the examination hall. Felt like I was going for a marathon, something that I do not like nor excel either. Seriously. As adrenaline rushed through my veins as I went from one station to another, I reminded myself not to drop the pen. Do. Not. Drop. The. Pen. It would uncovered the fake poised look that I had on my face! Seriously. And then the essay. Short essay answer, I have done that before. But an A4 worth of essay? That is a lot of words that needed to be written to fill that vast white paper. Seriously. *sweats*

Lagi on the very first day of the 4-day examination, I forgot my pens. And 2B pencils. And whatever else because I left my pencil case in the hotel room. *facepalm* Imagine my panic! On the very first day! Geez.. Seriously. All that I brought in my big Longchamp bag was my breast pump. Seriously. I was having mastitis AND fever… thus that was all in my distressed mind. 

You reap what you sow. It is not to say that I merely got lucky in exam. I studied and I studied whenever I could. I read even when I was vomiting through my first trimester. I laid sideways and read, when I could not lay on my back. Fighting my heavy lids almost every night, I (tried) burned the midnight oil when heartburn burned my throat in my third trimester. I propped my poor swollen legs up by the pillow and digested the textbook slowly, as I tried my very hard to stay awake. Sometimes, the heavy lids won. I flipped the pages and notes even when I was nursing and pumping. And when little Maya was cooperative enough, I can even prepare my own notes after revision. I let her play with all my colourful highlighters and colour pens afterwards and got rewarded instead, by her drawing on my pristine white walls. *sighssss*

At one point of time, I know I had neglected them whilst trying to cram the study materials into my frail memory. And I go by comforting myself, that if and when I pass, I will wholeheartedly be a good mummy. I reckon that I would fail badly at being both, a mother and student, if I do not concentrate on just one first. When the finals was just around the corner, I did. Thank you Dear Hubby for picking up the slacks. And thank You for listening, and for helping us through. 

#3. The Thirty Mark

You should never ask a woman her age. In my grandiose case, I specially like it because then, they would go, ‘What, you are thirty already? Don’t bluff!’. A lot of patients thought that I just graduated from medical school. Imagine when I tell them that I have two kids already. Score. 

I hit three-oh earlier this February. There are so many things and life events that have happened, that I experienced, which will and have change my life, change the way I see life. You are no longer who you are anymore. You got married, you have kids. People think that you have changed. But that is not the case. I put my children’s needs before mine now. I spend money on their insurances and car seats before splurging on vacations like I used to. I feed them first and I don’t mind going hungry myself. I stopped going out late nights not because I suddenly hate alcohol, but because I rather sing bedtime songs, perform silly dance routine for them (yes, for them) before I kiss them goodnights and put them to bed. I do not want to miss them growing up.

I have not changed. My priorities do.

Being older and the wiser, I no longer dress to simply follow the trend. I choose what fit and flatter me most. Mainly to cover my untoned abs, haha. Out the too-short-too-low-too-clingy-too-sheer pieces. In come the more classical, more elegant, more chic, more sophisticated items in my closet. More tasteful ones, according to my thirty-year-old mind, that it. But the heels… those killers, my loves, I’m keeping. Though I am more often than not in my pumps, I am never giving up on my heels. Never! 

The more liberating freeing moment is the moment I realise that not all friends can remain friends forever. Not all friends are friendly. Not all of them have your back. Some of us drift apart as we grow older, and that is okay. And the same goes for colleagues. Not all of them are just colleagues. Some are potentially friendly and can be buddied. Some are nice enough to bend their schedule to fit my routine. Blessed me for they have been kind enough to wait up for me, late at night, after I put my two (sometimes angelic  angels to sleep, before I can go for our fortnightly-monthly ladies night out. Can’t ask for better colleagues. *you know who you are* One thing that I know as I grow older is that it is harder to find friends, to make friends. And that’s why people say, friendship is like a treasure. 

And family is my life. My family, my life. They are my everything, Without them, I am nothing.

And that my friends, wraps the post for today. 

I hope 2015 has been lovely for you all as well!

Till we meet again in my next post